Blasphemy

‘To me, my husband was my son’s murderer. He was also my daughter’s molester. A parasite nibbling on the Holy Book. He was Lucifer holding me by the throat and driving me to sin every night. He was Bhai’s destroyer, Amma Sain’s tormentor, Ma’s humbler and the people’s exploiter. He was the rapist of orphans and the fiend that fed on the weak. But over and above all this he was known to be the man closest to Allah ... the one who could reach Him and save us.’

Blasphemy was the first work of fiction written by Tehmina Durrani, published in 1998 by Ferozsons. A highly controversial book, it looks at the lives of the Muslim clergy and spiritual leaders or pir through the eyes of the main character, Heer, who is married off as a young girl to a prominent pir. 
While this treated as a great honour to her poor widowed mother, it slowly reveals itself to be the worst decision ever made for their family, and especially for her. Heer is subjected to violence, cruelty and extreme sexual abuse at the hands of her highly respected husband, a man ‘closest to Allah’, and soon discovers that she is not the only victim of his tremendous ego and megalomania.
I felt chills go down my spine as I read portions of this book; the writing is so brutally simple it makes everything you read seem that much more real. I could not put the book down, and am sorry to report that I actually felt sick once I was done reading it. I just wasn't able to digest the horror the book presented. To add salt to my wounded mind, I read that Durrani had based her novel on a true story, only changing names to protect the identity of Heer.
I know that all religious clergy and men of God are not to be painted with the same brush, but realizing that if even a small percent of the population is able to garner enough authority to act like Pir Sain (which can and does happen, unfortunately), makes me terribly afraid for religion and where it’s headed . . . 
Definitely not closer to Allah, that’s for sure.

Author and activist Tehmina Durrani

Gone Girl

I read this review by author Scott Smith:

'I cannot say this urgently enough: you have to read Gone Girl. It’s as if Gillian Flynn has mixed us a martini using battery acid instead of vermouth and somehow managed to make it taste really, really good. Gone Girl is delicious and intoxicating and delightfully poisonous. It’s smart (brilliant, actually). It’s funny (in the darkest possible way). The writing is jarringly good, and the story is, well…amazing.  Read the book and you'll discover—among many other treasures—just how much freight (and fright) that last adjective can bear.'

and I thought, just how psychotic can this book be?

I can tell you now, things get pretty intense in Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl.

A husband and wife play the most terrifying mind games with each other, and stop at nothing to ensure that their partner is just where they need them (read terrified, obsessed and against the wall delirious with the stress of anticipating the next move). 

I realize this may not be the most inviting pitch when looking to read for pleasure, but the plot and narrative structure make this book exciting. The writing is clever and inventive, and keeps you hooked. It’s an easy read; definitely one you could try if you feel like reading a book/watching a film at the same time. Gone Girl feels like a well-shot, well-acted thriller.

If nothing else, it’ll make you more interested in the inner workings of your partner’s mind. Was that really him asking to have toast for breakfast or . . . 

Wild Heart

I'll save you a lengthy book review of Cheryl Strayed's beautiful memoir about her 3-month solo journey hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in America. Her journey was as much an attempt to understand the events of her life as to find herself in the world and make her way forward. The sentences below should be tantalising enough to make you read this book. Also, if you haven't read Cheryl Strayed's column on The Rumpus, you're in for a serious treat. It was the reason why I pre-ordered and waited so patiently for my international first edition of Wild.

'All through my childhood and adolescence I'd asked and asked, making her describe those scenes and more, wanting to know who said what and how, what she felt inside while it was going on, where so-and-so stood and what time of day it was. And she'd told me, with reluctance or relish, laughing and asking why on earth I wanted to know. I wanted to know. I couldn't explain. But now that she was dying, I knew everything. My mother was in me already. Not just the parts of her that I knew, but the parts of her that had come before me too.'

'Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a story different from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me. Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part, it worked. Every time I heard a sound of unknown origin or felt something horrible cohering in my imagination, I pushed it away. I simply did not let myself become afraid. Fear begets fear. Power begets power. I willed myself to beget power.'

'Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren't a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was. The radical aloneness of the PCT had altered that sense. Alone wasn't a room anymore, but the whole wide world, and now I was alone in that world, occupying it in a way I never had before. Living at large like this, without even a roof over my head, made the world feel both bigger and smaller to me.'

'There were so many other amazing things in this world. They opened up inside of me like a river. Like I didn't know I could take a breath and then I breathed. '

I think I'll stop quoting from the book because I don't want to ruin your reading of it, but it's safe to say that this has been the most engaging read; revealing, reflective, funny, sad and triumphant. I hate when good books end. And then when they make a movie that doesn't do it justice so people never bother reading the book (case in point, The Time Traveller's Wife). 

Let's hope you read this before the film version gets out . . . 

Motivations

A friend of mine recently asked me how come, if I was so interested in current affairs, that I did not choose to write about them on my blog. He wondered why I would ignore them and instead focus on design and food and books and the random events of my day.
Thing is, my blog is a space dedicated to things like design and art and books. I deliberately choose to keep my writing light because I want my blog to be a space people come to for a nice start to the day or a welcome mid-day break. I want them to feel cheered up, and hopefully a little inspired; even if it is only to try reading a book I’ve blogged about or listen to a song I've recommended.
There is a great deal of beauty and charm and relevance in the mundane, and I enjoy sharing that. I love writing about the brilliance of design and books and food and things that motivate me. I just don't see it as any less important. In any case, we all know what’s happening in the news, and there are far smarter, far more credible interpretations of it than mine that people could read.
So, this space, this blog, is my humble offering to anyone who cares to read it. Thank you, because I really appreciate you stopping by. The fact that you're reading this gives me an extreme case of the happies.

P.S. Speaking of doing things we love, is The Holstee Manifesto not the perfect poster? 

Everyday Indulgences

I make my day a little more special by peppering it with these luxuries. They make me feel very indulged, and are totally worth it in my book (titled How to Pamper Yourself All the Time and Justify It in the Name of Self-Improvement).

1. Morning cuppa: For me nothing beats a good, aromatic cup of coffee at the start of the day. I get mine from the Orange County plantation in Coorg whose environmentally-friendly philosophy I really admire.
2. New podcasts to hear while driving: I eagerly wait for new podcasts from my favourite shows because they change my drive time and somehow make me feel smarter and more in-the-know. Anything to develop these facets of my brain, she said.
3. Perfume: The woodsy, citrusy perfume Escale à Pondichéry makes me feel like I’m on a holiday. Could one ask for more from a perfume?
4. The perfect everyday lipstick: I finally found the right shade for me. A small step towards my dream of looking like the girls I saw cycling to work in Amsterdam/all over Europe - immaculately made up but very natural. Seriously, how do they do it?
5. Ordering an eagerly anticipated book online: Nothing to beat finding/ordering a book you’ve been looking forward to for ages - in my case right now it's Wild by Cheryl Strayed.
6. Soaking my feet in warm water at the end of the day: Sooo good for tired feet.
7. Pine-scented soy candles: I love the candles made by Niana; they spread their fragrance lightly through the room and are most relaxing. Home spa, if you will.
8. Random email/text chats with my BFFs: Life updates, gossip and randomness in short sentences is guaranteed to brighten the day.
9. Balsamic vinegar and freshly cut mango: Balsamic + any sweet fruit + salt is a match made in heaven. You have to try this.
10. Fancy skincare products: Judge me if you will, but I have a weakness for all things skincare. I guess I'm a believer. They make my day (ahem, while preparing me for the onslaught of age and pollution of course). Thank you, Visionnaire!

What are your little indulgences through the day? I'm sure everyone has some? I can't be the only one with a neon sign over my head . . . 

A Forced Vacation

Two weeks ago, my eyes, neck and shoulders gave up on me. I had dizzy spells and trouble focusing and then a major anxiety attack, which has never, ever happened. It was a very strong message from my body to take a break, and the doctors encouraged me to listen.
This meant that I had to stop working on the computer, no more late night television, no reading books and no surfing the ipad or working on my blog. No type A behaviour allowed either. My doctor even insisted I avoid looking at my Blackberry but with that I was unable to comply. I assumed that my two weeks were going to be hard without books or television, and steeled myself for the sacrifice I was making in the interest of my health.
Funnily enough, it was a most relaxing time. Mildly dull, sure, but most definitely relaxing. I heard all genres and all eras of music, listened to my favourite podcasts and discovered some new ones, slept, had massages, and got thoroughly pampered by my husband and family. All I was doing was finding news ways to relax my eyes, shoulders, back and also my mind.
My little vacation made me think about what I was subjecting my body to through my thoughts and actions. I took myself for granted, refused to look at things closely, until my body forced me to rexamine my life. It may seem dramatic, but it really was. I was taught to look at stress and energy in a whole other light by my aunt, who always helps me put perspective on things. She made me realize the value of regularly decluttering the mind no matter how positive our mental make-up is ('It's like eating a gorgeous meal, you still need to clean the plates after, right? A great meal doesn't mean the plates won't get dirty. It's the same thing with your energy system and your mind. You need to focus on all your thoughts in order to release them and not suppress anything.') and taking time out for oneself, which I obviously wasn't doing.
My reason for writing this whole saga is only to spread that message further: to tell you to look after yourself. Be mindful of your thoughts and give yourself time to relax. That doesn't necessarily mean going to a spa or for a vacation, but just taking the time to be alone with your thoughts and giving your body a chance to tell you what it's thinking. No judgement, just listening. It's so important, and so needed in our frenetic world. Down time. Make it happen.

Men, Money and Chocolate - the Holy Trinity Redefined

I'm rather impressed with Menna Van Praag's Men, Money and Chocolate. The author takes complicated personal issues and elegantly turns them on their head making you wonder how you missed such obvious truths. Deceptively simple, perhaps even seeming like chick-lit given the title and cover art, this book is in actuality a godsend to anyone who feels like they need a partner, wealth or comfort food (chocolate, anyone?) to feel better about themselves. It's not preachy and high-handed at all, but does drive home the message that you are all you need to be happy. The protagonist, Maya, finds her way to the light in the most captivating manner and I know that in some small way, we can all relate to her insecurities, which is what makes this book so special. You feel lighter, somehow, and more hopeful once you've read it. It's also filled with chocolate and charming men, in case that helps. 
Here's an excerpt to whet your appetite:


EVERY DAY MAYA LOST AN ONGOING BATTLE to resist breakfasting on coffee and chocolate croissants. Sometimes she managed to hold back for a few hours, but rarely made it to ten o’clock without devouring a couple of croissants in a guilt-laden frenzy. The rest of the day was an inevitable downslide into oblivion. All the time the chocolate treats tempted her, and Maya wondered desperately why she couldn't win a battle of wills with a slice of fudge cake, just once.
She glanced at a plate of chocolate cupcakes on the counter and absolutely vowed that today she wouldn't eat anything sweet. She looked down at the unopened self-help book in her hands, the title promising to cure Maya of her addiction to unavailable men, and caught the sad sight of her cake-rounded belly under her apron. Maya turned a page, trying to focus, but her heart wasn't in it.
Some days Maya feared she’d finally have to let go of her dreams. For years she’d been trying to finish a novel, scribbling sentences between baking cakes, serving customers and worrying about her accounts. She’d tried, hoped and wished to find love but had spent the last decade either serially single or recovering from failed love affairs. And every day she tried to impose a strict diet on herself, calling on ever-diminishing reserves of willpower, and every day she succumbed to temptation.
Maya’s world was shaped by her thoughts about men, money and chocolate; and these thoughts were almost always self-critical and depressing. In the pursuit of love, success and weight loss she’d failed to find anything like joy, but she continued to try.
It rarely occurred to Maya that perhaps she might be mistaken, that in her obsessive focus on these particular goals, she may be missing something.
Sometimes Maya sensed some special secret to happiness that lay just beyond her reach. For, in rare moments, she would be surprised by a sensation of childhood joy that crept up when her head hovered over a cake bowl and she bent down to sniff the sugar, or caught the sight of sunlight through golden leaves. Without knowing why or how, the memory of something she’d once known would touch her and suddenly she would smile, seeing a whole bright and brilliant world opening up before her. And for one eternal moment, Maya would be flooded with a feeling of warmth and peace. But in the next second it was gone.

So, while Maya believed, deep in her heart, that she could be truly happy, she had absolutely no idea how.


Excerpted from Men, Money and Chocolate, by Menna Van Praag. Copyright © 2010 (Hay House)

Fifty Shades of Why-on-Earth-is-This-Book-Such-a-Big-Deal

I bought into the hype, obviously. If you haven’t heard of Fifty Shades of Grey you probably live under a rock, which is probably better since you’re not exposed to unwarranted, overtly glorifying book reviews and women swooning over imaginary hedonistic men with intense control issues. 

But let me pedal back; Fifty Shades of Grey is a New York Times bestselling erotic fiction paperback by E. L. James that traces the relationship between college graduate Anastasia Steele and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It gained notoriety (crazy amounts of press, screeching fans, CNN news specials, talk shows) for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of BDSM that have generated much hype. Honestly, I would worry more about the romantic relationships portrayed in this book. 

Initially I thought, Wow - this is really pushing the boundaries of fiction for women! Well done E. L. James! Here’s a woman who wrote about something completely off the charts and everyone’s going crazy over it! And so I ordered my copy. I had to know why women were falling so hard for this book.

It seems women either have stopped reading good books, or worse, still cling to the strange notion of wanting to be simultaneously controlled/looked after by a man, and then being able to ‘fix’ all his emotional problems. It’s so regressive it’s depressing, and what’s sadder is that women are drooling all over it. 

As far as the writing goes, it’s awkward, full of asinine phrases and clumsily crafted one-dimensional characters. I have nothing against the sexual nature of this book, I’m just appalled at the subtext of it all. I suppose the reason this book is such a bestseller is because we've become pros at hyping mediocrity. Thank you, social media! 

If you want erotica, look elsewhere. If want romance, look elsewhere. If you want to know the reality of how far women have progressed in what they want from their relationships and lives, please don’t look at this book. It’ll send you back a century.

How a Book is Conceptualized, Pitched, Picked up, Written, Edited and Who Gets Drunk Along the Way

www.weldonowen.com

Wisdom from Wonderland

My mother gave me a leather-bound copy of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland when I was six years old. I fell in love with that book, and John Tenniel’s beautiful illustrations. I read it from cover to cover, over and over again, and definitely did not understand any of the subtext. Recently, upon downloading a free ebook version I re-‘kindled’ (ha!) my friendship with Alice and the gang. They really do have much to teach the world. Here are some of my favourite lines from the book.

We called him Tortoise because he taught us. – The Mock Turtle

Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic - Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. – The Mock Turtle

There's a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that is: The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours. – The Duchess

If it had grown up, it would have made a dreadfully ugly child; but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think. – Alice

That's the reason they're called lessons, because they lessen from day to day. – The Gryphon

Can you do addition? What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one? – The White Queen

Door: Why it's simply impassible!

Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? 
Door: No, I do mean impassible. Nothing's impossible!

Adventures first... explanations take such a dreadful time. – The Gryphon
 
Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. – The Mad Hatter

If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does. – The Duchess

The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday – but never jam today. – The White Queen

Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves. – The Duchess

  

I know a thing or two about liking people, and in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, 'like' turns into 'what was his name again?'  – The Mad Hatter

Design Files: Black + White Book Covers

Who says you need colour to make a book cover attractive and eye catching?

The covers below illustrate the power of black and white. Their use of contrast and typography coupled with clever concepts make them clear winners in my book.

Designed by David Drummond 

Published by McGill-Queen's University Press

Designed by Doogie Horner 

Published by Quirk Books

Designed by Emily Harwood Blass 

Published by Random House

Designed by Gregg Kulick 

Published by Harper Perennial

Designed by Henry Sene Yee 

Published by Picador

Designed by Isaac Tobin 

Published by University of Chicago Press

Designed by Isaac Tobin 

Published by University of Chicago Press

Designed by John Gall 

Published by Knopf Books

Designed by Sarah Rainwater 

Published by Continuum

Designed by Susanne Dean 

Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Designed by Barbara deWilde 

Published by Picador

Armchair Traveller Goes to Europe

There is a certain charm in exploring a country through someone else’s words, but using your own imagination. Nothing beats the real deal, of course, but if you can’t travel it doesn’t hurt to get the most out of life’s lemons. 

Here are some fantastic books that have taken me all over Europe.

1. Extra Virgin: A Young Woman Discovers the Italian Riviera, Where Every Month Is Enchanted – Annie Hawes

Annie Hawes and her sister leave grey, foggy London for the sun-drenched olive groves of Liguria in Italy. They buy a dilapidated old house with an olive grove and proceed to renovate it, slowly falling in love with their new home, the quirky locals, the divine food and the Italian way of life. I could not put this book down and read it constantly over three days. Annie Hawes has a hilarious way of describing people and situations, so that you feel like you’re right there with her in her favourite San Pietro bar, knocking back espressos as the ‘locals’ read their newspapers and discuss football. If you love coastal Italy and are missing it, or even if you’ve never been there, this is the perfect book.

2. A Year in Provence – Peter Mayle
Peter Mayle realizes a long-cherished dream and moves into a 200 year-old farmhouse at the base of the Luberon mountains along with his wife and two dogs. This memoir traces their first year in the farmhouse, dealing with the harsh weather and what it does to an old, rickety house as well as adventures in adapting to life in Provence. Mayle’s writing is poignant and telling, and always extremely funny. He paints les Provencals expertly, vividly describing their outlooks and personalities, and his stunning descriptions of the gastronomic feasts he enjoys (essential for the locals, and the only thing they agree on) are enough to make you drool.

3. Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe – Bill Bryson
This book was my introduction to the writing of Bill Bryson, and has rendered me a complete fan. In the book Bryson retraces a backpacking trip he did across Europe twenty years ago. Full of laugh-out-loud incidents and insightful, seethingly honest takes on various countries and people, this memoir has got a fair amount of criticism but I found it thoroughly charming. It’s well written, humourous, and detailed, which really is all one needs from travel writing.

4. A Moveable Feast – Ernest Hemingway
While this isn’t exactly travel writing, this memoir from one of America’s greatest writers is brilliant and just as transportive. It describes Hemingway’s time in Paris as a newly married struggling writer. His portrayals of 1920s Paris, the circle of artists and writers he associated with (many of whom achieved great fame and success), and his recollections of the role the city played in his writing, make this a beautiful read for anyone interested in the charms of Paris. It is from this book that he is famously quoted saying ‘If you were lucky enough to be in Paris as a young man, it will stay with you forever, for Paris is a moveable feast . . .’

5. Lunch in Paris: A Love Story with Recipes – Elizabeth Bard
This title covers some of my favourite things: Paris, travelling, love stories and food. The book did not disappoint either. American journalist Bard falls in love with a Frenchman and proceeds to get married and make Paris her home. Peppered with recipes the author loves and her clear affection for France, the book also has some honest and sharp critiques of Parisian culture. Bard falls in love, learns to cook, is inspired by the ways of the French, and learns to live fully. It’s a light read but most enjoyable.

 So, don’t worry if you’re not (physically) going anywhere this summer - settle down with a drink and a good travel memoir, and you can be exactly where you want.