Let's-Pretend-It's-Not-Monday Quotes

1. I may look calm and collected when I stroll in to work on Monday, but really, I've killed all my employees in my head like 3 times.
2. Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.
3. Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?
4. Of all the days I hate most, Monday is my favourite.
5. Hi. It's Monday again and I'm in a staff meeting. There are 83 ceiling tiles in our meeting room. And 8 light fixtures, with 24 fluorescent bulbs. That is all.
6. Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.
7. Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear 'Monday has been cancelled, go back to sleep.'
8. I'm convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend...